Happy CNY & brain & heart

Ok,I'm sorry I haven't been updating my blog for a while now,but hey!I'm back in Kuching having fun,so you got to forgive my forgetfulness!Haha!

First thing's first,Happy Chinese New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Being back in Kuching is great,the sense of belonging,the familiarity,it's just great.I have to say,I haven't been this happy for quite a while now.

Anyways,remember the thing that was bothering me before I came back?Oh...Wait..I didn't mention what that was..But that's not the point,really.The point is that,that thing is no longer bothering me anymore,not even one bit,to be honest.It's a weird feeling but it just disappeared.So,hooray for that one...BUT!Now with that thing aside,a new thing has appeared.

I've been thinking,maybe it's my problem.I really really have a problem with relationship stuff.I just don't know what the heck I'm thinking and what's that I want.I feel like I'm easy to be manipulated,my mood,my thoughts,my needs...This is so tiring...But you know what's even more tiring?Having to think about the future.I hate thinking bout the future because I can't see what's in it.I always halt when I think about the future,and it always causes me problems.I can't do what I want to because I'm worried about what might happen in the future.I know people will tell me that I should enjoy life at this moment and worry less about the future.To some point,I agree with it and I do want to live that kind of life.But somehow,I just can't!My brain just starts thinking and starts worrying my heart.My brain and my heart are like two separate being with very different and extreme characters..

What is that I need?
What I need is someone to lead the way and talk me through these things.....Haiyaaa.....

Anyways,Happy Chinese New Year,again!