Please be prepared~

Ok..Be warned that this is going to be a very long post which may seem to be without an ending.See!I told you!Even my very first sentence is annoyingly loso..But,sorry!I couldn't help it..That's what I do---I talk..a lot.And I'm not going to do this in Chinese because I'm just too darn lazy to turn on the damn Southern Star thing and just don't feel like doing this in Chinese.So,again,sorry!

How's my summer been so far?

Yiehh~Not too bad I guess..

• Went to Scarborough Beach twice (see Facebook photos for details)
• Did 3 sits so far (for future reference,when I say sit,it means babysitting)
• Had a few days of Nintendo DS craze and am now over it already
• Went for a 3 hours Makaton workshop
• Filed in all my paper works for the position as a casual support worker and now waiting to be call in for my duty for both the casual support work and party hosting (yes..I have two jobs for now)
• Squated outside the yard for roughly 1 hour and half pulling those darn weeds out with mum (oh ya..Mum's here)
• Didn't do much exercise this week
• Eat & drink
• Sleep & wake up
• Shit & pee
• Eat & drink some more
• Sleep & wake up some more
• Shit & pee some more (I'm SORRY but I just cannot remember the more polite way of saying 'shitting'!)

I know I did more than that for the past 2 weeks but like I said,I'm no Einstein,so I don't really remember what else.

But I'm not here to brag about how my summer has been so far..Seriously! (Yea..right..Talk so much bout it baru say not wanting to talk bout it..=.=;)

Anyways,I'm writing to talk about a thing call 'judgement'.Familiar?I'm pretty sure every normal functioning human being knows what that is,regardless of culture and ethnic backgrounds.

Why do we judge?What kind of judegement hurts the most?Can the world survive one day without any judgement at all?

The answer for no.3 is an absolute NO!

No matter how much we want others to stop judging us,we just couldn't help be the one judging.

To be frank,I hate this 'judgement' thing.I hate it when people show me the "I'm judging you right now,at this moment" look.But,regardless of how much hatred I have for the occurence of 'judgement',I'm just like any of you who can understand what I'm writing right now.I'm nothing but just human,so unfortunately,I judge people as well.But I do try to not judge people by their appearance nor by just the first impression they give.

It's sad enough to be rudely judged by people you don't know.However,when people you're close to make judgements about you as well,I just think that'll just ruin my mood even more.Sure,you can say there's two categories of judgements,the positive and the negative.But,think carefully,how often do humans make positive judgement about others?As far as I know,the chances are like 55% to 45%.55% being the frequency for negative judgements and 45% is for the positive.

Judgements that I hear on a daily basis send off too much negative vibe that it'll just make the day looks gloomier than usual.And I don't like gloomy days at all.

Why do we have to judge others so much?Them living a different live from ours,does that mean we have the right to interfere and judge what's right and what's wrong,what has to be done,what shouldn't be,all according to our own theory?That just makes us sound like a bunch of narrow minded people,doesn't it?People living in this era,constantly claiming that we're walking towards a century where we are more open-minded.But how true is that statement?If we really are open minded,would we be making judgements about others?I'm not trying to say judgements make no good at all.In fact,some judgements do lead to certain amount of improvement.

Here comes the interesting question.

Why is that,90% of what I've shared in my blog,I don't share them with my family members?Why is that,I prefer writing it out in my blog rather than have a face-to-face talk about it?

It's because of judgements.To be honest,I'm afraid of hearing judgements,especially the negative ones.I'm not going to pretend that I don't care what other people think,because I do.I live in a world filled with different individuals that have different impact on my life,so of course I care about what other people think about me.I don't want to be ignorant and provoke anyone,what I want is to be neutral.

My family means the world to me,but sadly,I'm kind of different from the crowd.I'm like the odd ball in the house because I do things that they won't normally do.Sometimes,it seems like what I say doesn't really matter because I'm the youngest.What I said is either bullshit or should already be known by others so there's really no point in me being the one saying it.

Is it me being paranoid?No.I know I'm not.People who say I'm being paranoid are actually,I think,in denial.

I get asked the questions starting with "why" a lot.And I don't have a freaking idea about the answers to all those questions.Often,I do things that even I myself can't explain.There's no 'because' to what I do.I just do what feels right and what makes me happy.When there's an exact 'because' to the answer,I try my best to explain.But,some people'll never get it.If  it's not something they'd do,to them it's unneccessary.No matter how legit your reasons may seem,it's all bullshit if they don't think like you do.This is not directed to just my family,but also to some other people.

I don't share my problems with certain people not because I think what I did was wrong.It's because I know to some people,they've already made an impression about certain things and no further evidence can make them think otherwise.Talking to them is like making a bet with all your money at one go.You only get one shot,and if what you said doesn't fit into their theory of mind,you're pretty much doomed.There's no room for mistake.One mistake can cost you a life time of nagging,a life time of judgement that takes forever to change.I've learnt that,there really is no need for me to have a discussion with people who don't have room for diferences.To a certain someone,what's not in their mind is just plain bullshit.I'd rather not make the bet and keep all the chips to myself.I like things that are simple and safe to play with.A coward?Well..Maybe.

One other horrible thing about humans is that,some people make bad judgements about other people,just to make themselves feel more superior.They try to find the weakness of others and attack them using that weakness.Over and over again,it's the same bitching line.They knew perfectly that no one is perfect,they use that as an 'excuse' when people point out their weakness.When it comes to dealing with someone else's weakness,that is when they forget about the 'no one is perfect' thing.They'd start making negative judgements,even if it's the same thing,to them,it's just worth going through it over and over again.It doesn't really matter if the weakness is still there or not.As long as it was there before,it's enough to feed their cravings for deminishing others for a long time.

Last thing that is irrelavant to what I've just said.Remember the story about putting a small black dot on a big piece of white paper and ask people what do they see.I think that's total BS and is heck misleading.Well!Of course they'd say they see a black dot!DUH!You deliberately put it on there just so they'd notice it!And then you turn around telling them they're wrong and has a personality problem?I just don't get it...Seriously...

Ok..Enough for today...