1 post tagged “feelings”

As of recently,maybe for the past two or three days,I'm feeling really weird,emotionally.

Usually,no matter how bad things are,I always manage to feel refresh after a good night sleep.But that didn't happen to me lately,in fact,I'm even having trouble sleeping.I'd lie on my bed with my eyes shut,but my mind just keep on working,thinking about stuff that I won't want to.One hour into the so-called "sleep",I'm still mentally wide awake.It's the most tormentuos thing ever.Due to the inability to fall asleep as I'd like to,I wake up feeling,not upset,not angry,not cranky---just weird.Normally,after a sleep,regardless of the quality,I'd wake up smiling and happy.But,recently,I woke up without a smile,I didn't feel the satisfaction that one is suppose to experience after a sleep.Smiling has somehow become a redundant thing for me to do,I just don't feel as positive at all.

Even when I eat,I somehow can't taste the food that goes into my mouth.I mean I can taste the flavour of it,but my brain seems to be too occupied with its own problem that it's not receiving the signal my taste buds are sending.I eat but I don't feel the satisfaction afterwards.Opening my mouth to chew on food felt like such a watse of my energy,and it feels like my body is constantly deprived,of something.

When I went running the other day,my body felt so heavy that half way through my run,I just felt like giving up.It's not because I ran out of energy,it was more like someone unknowingly threw 10 more kilos onto my shoulders.It's emotional,not physical.

I'm hoping it's just the hormonal change,then I'd feel better after my period.Though there's a big chance that PMS is behind all these,deep down inside,I knew what was the other non-biological thing that has been triggering these unfortunate events.

Where's my endorphin?I need my endorphin,N-O-W!