20 posts tagged “love”

Ok,I'm sorry I haven't been updating my blog for a while now,but hey!I'm back in Kuching having fun,so you got to forgive my forgetfulness!Haha!

First thing's first,Happy Chinese New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

Being back in Kuching is great,the sense of belonging,the familiarity,it's just great.I have to say,I haven't been this happy for quite a while now.

Anyways,remember the thing that was bothering me before I came back?Oh...Wait..I didn't mention what that was..But that's not the point,really.The point is that,that thing is no longer bothering me anymore,not even one bit,to be honest.It's a weird feeling but it just disappeared.So,hooray for that one...BUT!Now with that thing aside,a new thing has appeared.

I've been thinking,maybe it's my problem.I really really have a problem with relationship stuff.I just don't know what the heck I'm thinking and what's that I want.I feel like I'm easy to be manipulated,my mood,my thoughts,my needs...This is so tiring...But you know what's even more tiring?Having to think about the future.I hate thinking bout the future because I can't see what's in it.I always halt when I think about the future,and it always causes me problems.I can't do what I want to because I'm worried about what might happen in the future.I know people will tell me that I should enjoy life at this moment and worry less about the future.To some point,I agree with it and I do want to live that kind of life.But somehow,I just can't!My brain just starts thinking and starts worrying my heart.My brain and my heart are like two separate being with very different and extreme characters..

What is that I need?
What I need is someone to lead the way and talk me through these things.....Haiyaaa.....

Anyways,Happy Chinese New Year,again!

Some people just never learn...*points to self*

Don't ask...It's pathetic of me to even be thinking about it...

Urrgggh~I feel sick in the stomach and my head feels like bursting..

Yuck!

It's not me..It's the weather..

Yea...

I'm pretty sure it's the weather that has been acting up..Not me..Ppfffttt..It couldn't be me,right?Ppppfffttt~

I mean after all the new year resolutions and all... *awkward laugh* It couldn't be me,must be the hot weather..

Ha......... *awkward silence*

他们的邂后很普通。

他们之间相处得很愉快，男孩给女孩带来了很多的快乐。

他们的开始，遭受到了身边朋友的眼光。

纵然是双方都受尽了别人的闲言闲语，男孩还是坚持想要和女孩在一起的决定。

可是，女孩心里很清楚，这一个开始，很快就会有结束的一天。

我问女孩，“真的要把心拿出来一博吗？”

女孩很潇洒的回答说，“嗯！人生只有这么一回，我不想要有任何的遗憾。”

男孩并没有给予女孩任何的承诺，却给她实际行动。

一句“女朋友”的称呼，让女孩的微笑无从收藏。

我问女孩，“爱他吗？”

女孩肯定的回答说，“还不至于吧！只是很喜欢罢了~”

在就快要结束的时候，男孩问女孩，“会很伤心吗？”

女孩答说，“嗯…会！可是，我会很快就没事了！”

男孩点点头…

我问女孩，“真的会这样吗？”

女孩犹豫地答，“我也不知道…”

我再问女孩，“爱他吗？”

女孩难以致信地说，“好像是…”

女孩把“我爱你”这三个字一直收藏在自己的心底，从没让男孩知道。

终於到了离开的那一天。

男孩和女孩在最后一次拥抱后结束了一切。

女孩头也不回，慢慢…慢慢的消失在男孩的视线范围中。

在踏出不懂第几个的脚步后，女孩的眼泪再也忍不住，决堤了。

我问女孩，“很痛吗？”

女孩用抽畜着的心告诉我，“痛…心，真的很痛，很难受…”

我看着她哭泣，却又无能为力。

女孩和男孩约定了，就算分了手，也都还会是朋友。

我问女孩，“真的可以做到吗？”

女孩毫不犹豫的说，“我会尽力…”

男孩有一天问女孩，“如果，有一天，我遇到了另一个人，把你给忘了，那…怎么办？”

女孩故做潇洒地说，“早已在我的预料之中啦！没关系的啦！”

我问女孩，“真的没关系吗？”

女孩低着头，呢喃着，“我没有选择的余地…”

女孩和男孩就像当初约定的样子，维持这朋友的关系。

女孩主动地告诉我，说，“这样我就心满意足了！”

我怀疑的问了一句，“是吗？”

女孩没有回答。

有一天，男孩告诉女孩，他有了新的对象。

此刻，我听见了女孩心被撕裂的声音。

她想哭，可是，却连为甚么该哭的理由都找不着。

我很不明白地问，“不是应该无话不谈的吗？为甚么不让他知道你的感受？”

女孩吼着说，“让他知道了，又如何呢？我不想成为他无谓的烦恼！”

女孩伪装着自己的心情,继续分享男孩的心事。

我看见女孩的心不断被她自己折腾着，我不小心为女孩掉了一滴眼泪。

我问她，“真的要继续追问下去吗？”

女孩说，“嗯！因为我们是朋友啊！”

女孩也用了同样一句话，说服了男孩为她说故事。

她喃喃自语地说，“我们是朋友…我想要当一个称职的朋友…”

女孩转过身来，用很无奈的表情看着我，说“真的只剩下友谊了…”

眼泪，终於划过两旁脸颊。

那眼泪的味道，是苦的。

我试图安慰女孩，“那很好啊！起码多了一个朋友嘛！”

女孩不知道该如何回应，只是冷漠地对我微微一笑。

那一个微笑，让我看清楚了女孩的百般无奈。

无奈他们的缘分如此薄弱。

无奈他们俩正在慢慢地走出彼此的生命。

无奈她只能屈服于命运的安排。

女孩把脸放在一旁的肩上，她那无奈的眼神发了呆。

忽然之间，她冒出了一句话，“我没有来得比想像中坚强。”

后记：

当你有冲动想要为爱疯狂一次时候，请尽情放手去尝试。不论结局会是什么样子，都不要去忧虑。

因为，至少10年后，你可以回头望，庆幸自己曾经年少疯狂过。

错过了，就真的是后悔莫及。

女孩就是错过了可以为爱疯狂的机会。现在，无论她有多想为爱疯狂一次，机会早就从手中溜走，不再是属於她的了。

『年少疯狂不是罪，而是必要。』

It’s easy to think about wanting to forget bout you.

It’s easy to think about how I shouldn’t be thinking bout you.

It’s easy to think about ignoring you.

It’s easy to think about how I should just let it go.

But it is never easy to put those thoughts into actions.

What is so fun about being in a relationship with that special someone?

You get to share good musics together.

You get to have someone watching over your health.

You get to go work out together.

You get to talk about stupid and meaningless things.

You get to discuss about big serious issues.

You get to have someone to cheer you up when you are upset.

You get to be called names like beezy,bitch,sluts,whore..etc...by that special someone.

You get to have a hug from that special someone when you cry.

You get to have someone to lie on while watching tv.

You get to wrestle and work those rusty skills of yours.

You get to have someone to be called names at,like beezy,bitch,bastard,meanie...etc...

You get to have someone to cuddle with when you watch movies together on that oh-so-small laptop screen.

You get to be excited by the thought of seeing that special someone.

You get to have someone to have stupid arguments with.

You get to think about making food for that special someone.

You get to smile more,from deep within.

You get to show your affections to that special someone.

You get to have someone make you chicken sandwich.

You get to have someone cover you up with blankets in the middle of the night.

You get to be forced to stay awake and watch a movie that special someone liked.

You get to bite on that special someone and hear complaints bout it.

You get to be kissed by that special someone.

You get to receive random sweet text messages.

Most important of all...

You get to be happy =]

Yes..Yes...

I'm missing my 小白 now..

Technically,he's not mine anymore,but I gave him the name,so just let me enjoy the priority here in my blog for just a bit.. =Þ

It's amazing how I've switched from very depressed-upsetting 'missing' to think-and-smile-and-miss-and-wish-you-were-still-with-that-special-someone 'missing'.

Doesn't make sense?

It's okay..

As far as I know,I never did make any sense.. *shrugs shoulders*

Today I went to the Nandos outside my house for a trial.

It wasn't such a big work load but then because of the stupid flu I caught,I was in a blurry state the whole time.

Well,being this sick doesn't usually matters to me but then...I just couldn't think right... =.=;;

There goes my first impression..

Down the drain and into the sewer..

But seriously,I do not know I'll like the job or not..

I'll probably be doing it just because I need to..

But everything got to have a start for it,right?

Let's just see how thing goes..

I haven't have a proper conversation with you for days...

Are we walking toward the way of forgetting?

Hhmmm..I do not know..

I also don't know what I want myself to think..

I just want things to go the way it is suppose to be,even if it means not being that close anymore.

I do miss you,in fact,a lot!

But no matter how much I miss you,I no longer have the right in telling you that anymore..

I'll try to be good at pretending that everything is fine =)

But right now,I just want to focus on finishing my degree and gaining proper work experience.

I am leaving everything in God's hands.

最近還好嗎?

雖然有談話,可是,網上聊天,怎樣都比不過面對面來得好..

李敏妃,成長了嗎?

不懂...這也許得靠身邊人的察覺吧!

可是,我明顯的變得比較沉默了..

或許,是因為自己的心緒還沒調好吧!

有再多再多的牽掛,也只能往肚裡吞..

我沒有權力也沒有理由要表達給你知道...

眼淚的存在,也只有自己的臉頰了解..

我相信命運...相信命中註定..相信上帝的安排..

既然註定不再是那個關係,那...我也會慢慢,努力的學會放手..

I guess I am not as strong as I thought as I would be..

I guess I was wrong when I said you were becoming just a friend to me..

I guess I was wrong when I said you didn't care as much about me..

Within the last 20 hours,I've cried not only once,but more than 3 times when I think about you..

When you dropped us in front of the mall,I turned around and walked away without even thinking of looking back.

I walked straight ahead without wanting to cry at all..

But slowly,as we made our way towards the mall,I started to think about the memories we had together and my heart sank..

When I saw you left me a message on facebook,I could not help but teared,even when I have yet to open the message..

The thought of you having something to say to me just made me wanna cry even more.

I thought about your message over and over again and every single time I think about it,I cried..

My heart twitched and it was crying too..

Thank you for the 3 months and you are one truly amazing boy that I will never ever forget.

I guess now we are back in the 'single pool' again,huh?

I miss you Jeremy...

I wished that we don't have to end this but I believe fate has better plans ahead for us.

Heal well and I hope you'll get to do kung fu again soon.

Words cannot express all the feelings I have for you...But I will miss you a lot!

Just as you said,maybe someday,our path will cross once again.

I am hoping for that day to come.

Take care. =)