4 posts tagged “review”

Finally!The book review number 4 is here..

Hahaha!Sorry for the delay but been kind of  very lazy lar~

Anyways,no more bullshit-ing,straight to my review for the book "He's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo (important people for the book Sex and the City) -- Part 4.

Before I further on,I think it's crucial for me to say this,and this is no bullshit,if you find anything or any ideas that are fabulous,they're not mine.They all belong to the authors,so yay for them and most certainly,I'd ask you to go buy the book and read it yourself,if not buy,...er...just find a way~I should have added disclaimers earlier on to prevent any possible plagiarism..Damn!Oh well~Hahahaha..

(I keep hearing Samantha Jones' voice in my head...I think it's because I just watched 3 episodes of SATC on tv just now..)

Chapter 6:He's just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he's drunk.

Question one:Why wouldn't he want to see you when his brain is capable of functioning well?

Question two:Doesn't he want to remember vividly what happened between the two of you?

Question three:How drunk is drunk?

Question four:People who are being labeled as drunk,are not always as drunk as others think they are!

Okay..So that wasn't a question but a statement,by Millie.

To be honest,I don't know what is there to say about this chapter.This book has gotten so good that there's nothing left for me to comment about,really.Any comments I make would eventually just turn out to be paraphrasing what the authors had just mentioned,which I think,is kind of pointless in a way.

I,personally,don't like hanging with people who drink heavily and have a substance abuse problem,let it be alcohol,drugs or any sort of intoxication.I do enjoy casual drinking,once in a while,but not to the extend of getting trashed every single time you drink!

Take it from a person with a wee bit of experience,as fun as the idea of alcohol night may sound,things may not always turn out as planned.But I guess that's the fun of it,you never know what to expect.It may be fun when you're doing it,but the aftermath,urgh~Horrible!I'm not just talking about hang overs (that was bad! I felt like I was dying and my stomach would cramp itself into the size of a tennis ball),but also some other social issues that you might have to deal with afterwhile.Let's just say you'll have to learn how to get drunk in a smart way and think sober.Hhhmmm...That didn't quite make sense..Errmmm..Hahaha!Anyways... *awkward moment*

Chapter 7:He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to marry you.

If he really loves you,he'll find a way to overcome that commitment-phobia of his.

But that's not the only good thing said by the authors.

One thing I really agree with the authors is that,they're not trying to push everyone into marriage.They are more up for sorting out the mutual agreement between the two people involved.Some couples don't believe in marriage,and they are happy with where they are and decided that marriage is just a mere ceremonial thing.That is perfectly fine,as long as the two are on the same page on what they want for their relationship.

Marriage is no longer the symbol of a relationship success,it's the qualityof the relationship (50% of marriages end in divorce).Some people just walk into marriage easily because they kept divorce in the back of their head,and that is what they always end up with. 'Happily ever after they got married' only appears in fairy tales like Cinderella,Snow White,Sleeping Beauty,Princess and the Pea...bla bla bla...I guess maybe it's because divorce is being banned in those kingdoms (I'd be soooo sad if Cinderella and Prince 'whatever-his-name-is' divorced..They're my favourite-est(!) couple amongst the others)

Some people only see marriage as only the matter of legal protection,nothing else.

But don't get me wrong,I'm still a believer in marriage.I know I'm still young to be having thoughts bout marriage,but these thoughts come and go as they like so I have no control over them.I believe that if I'd want to walk into marriage,I do not have the intention of stepping out of it,so I'd like the other half to be as perfect as he can and be as ideal as possible."Do not compromise because this is a life-long thing",and that's so true.Two people need to be as compatible as they can if they want to spend the rest of their life together.Don't walk into a marriage that you're unsure of,because you'd end up either walking out of it,or torture you and your other half for the rest of your life.

Even when babies are involve,don't think of marriage as the only solution.Sure,you made a mistake and had a baby.So?That doesn't mean that by getting married,things will turn out fine.If you get married to the baby's dad/mum who you already knew is not your ideal companion,you'll be making another mistake not only for both of you,but also for your baby.In the end,your kid is going to be the one suffering.I believe that in this era,it's not the matter of whether or not you're a single parent,it's about giving your children the appropriate nurturing and love.

Think about the long run.You rush into marriage just because you have a baby,is only the solution for the very very short term.Having a baby is suppose to be a blessing,not a cursing.Marry someone because you love him/her and because you want to and because you two are compatible with each other.And if you really do that,then your baby is going to be a blessing,and you'll be having a family,instead of like running an orphanage.

=================================================================================

Totally unrelated issue!

My new kids (not mine!But the ones that I'm caring for,5yrs old and 3 yrs old) are so darn cute!They even sat next to the window facing the front porch just to wait for me to come!And the little one even gave me flowers!Awwww!!I know!!!And the way he said 'Miwie' is soooooo adorable!They're just like babies,just that they're a little bit bigger.And I really enjoy watching them interacting with each others.It's so fun and just make my day a whole lot happier. =D I wish I could show you guys how adorable they are,but I don't think I'm allowed to.The little one likes to say this to me.."Excussse mi *with the tone slightly going up*,Mi-wie..*with the big puppy eyes of his*"And the big one,today (my second day with them),told me to turn around with his cheeky smiling face,and then gave me a big hug from behind!That's the first time a boy did that to me I think..haha!But they are filled with lots of energy~Guess I'll just have to try to catch up with them. =Þ

Anyone tried the Clinique Pore Minimizer Refining Lotion before?It's really good and really effective.I'm using it right now and I think it's working pretty well for me.Should definitely try that one if you want to minimise your pores.

I'm right,right?This IS the 3rd book review,right?

Anyways,haven't done much of the readings recently,until this evening.Only read one chapter though,but thought that the review for this chapter should stand alone because this chapter is so good.

Chapter 5:He's just not that into you if he's having sex with someone else

Can you see why I think this chapter is good yet?

No?

Ok..Maybe this subtitle can give you more of an idea.

"There's never going to be a good excuse for cheating"

AMEN!!

I totally agree with the authors when they said there's NO such thing as an 'accident' when it comes to cheating.

There'll always be a certain amount of planning when people cheat on their significant others.

First story shared:"He's got no excuse and he knows it"

A guy slept with this same chick behind his girlfriend's back,twice.He didn't get caught,but the chick sold him out by telling his girlfriend bout it.The girlfriend confronted him,and he confessed.He said he knew it was wrong but didn't know why he did that.He begged for her to come back.

The authors' thought?

Dump his sorry ass!

My thought bout the guy?

Dump-able.

Remember Rihanna's "Take a bow"?

"Boy,you're only sorry you got caught."

Right on the point.

Second story:"But I've gotten fat"

The reason that this boyfriend gave to his girlfriend for cheating is because he wasn't sexually attracted to her anymore because she gained significant amount of weight.

The authors' thought?

They think she should lose that extra 175 pounds---in that case,they meant her boyfriend. (I laughed at this one.)

My thought?

Dump-able and kill-able.

That guy is a total loser and that was the lamest and most hurtful possible excuse a guy can think of.

Putting the blame on the girl?!What an asshole!!

Third story:"He has stronger sex drive than I"

This guy said he cheated because the girlfriend couldn't satisfy his sexual needs.And she admitted that there were times when she refused to have sex because she was too tired or something.

The author's thought?

 "Don't let any man blame you for their infidelity.Ever."

My thoughts?

Dump-able.

Face it,boys in general do have stronger sex drives than girls.But that doesn't mean they can only make a relationship work by staying in bed 24/7,until they are all dried up of sperms!

Girls are more emotional than boys in general,so does that mean we can bitch and whine and be emotionally unstable as we like?Hell no!Don't try to put blames on the biological factors.

Fourth story:"At least he knew her"

He slept with his ex-wife.Told the girlfriend that he had no control when the old feelings came back.Told her to forgive him because it wasn't like someone who is new.

The authors' thought?

It's ok for people to have feelings,but "that doesn't mean you have to have sex".

My thoughts?

Dump-able.

That's just lame.Using that excuse as a "get out of jail" card.If you give a guy that card,you'd find that he'd be sleeping with all the girls that aren't 'new' in no time.

In conclusion,

A guy who doesn't have excuses when he cheats,is a jerk.

A guy who comes up with excuses when he cheats,is a jerk.

A guy who uses you as an excuse when he cheats,is a jerk.

A guy who doesn't tell you bout it when he cheats,is a jerk.

A guy who tells you bout it when he cheats,is a jerk.

Basically,a guy who cheats is a big fat J-E-R-K.

There shouldn't be any excuse when it comes to cheating.If you're so not into your significant others,why not just break it to her/him and end everything,instead of trying to pursue further without making a stop to the relationship?

Cheat on me once,shame on you.

Because you broke my trust and just proved to me that you're completely not worth my time.And it'd be your lost for cheating on me.

Cheat on me twice,shame on me.

Because if I take you back and let you cheat on me the second time,I'm the dumbest person in this world.I shall be crowned the 'most brainless girl in this world'.And I don't mind someone slapping the sense out of me. 

Sure,people can come up with the,'I know he/she is cheating on me,but I love him/her so much that I just couldn't let go!" excuse.

Think bout it,if he/she is cheating on you,it means that they're not into you anymore,and all you have left is what is physical.Do you want to be in a relationship where there's no emotional connection at all?

I do have to admit that giving up a person you love is freaking difficult,it's like cutting off a drug addiction without any professional help.

It's so easy to fall into relapse and be stuck in that vicious cycle again and again.When you try to cut off an addiction without any formal guidance,it's going to be torturous.You'd feel like dying and would even consider getting back on that drug because you just couldn't bear the pain.You only want the satisfaction for the short time being,but you know deep down in your heart,that in the long run,that drug is going to kill you when you least expected.

But if you succeed in cutting off that addiction,you'd feel more refreshed and better in general.

A guy who cheats will earn my despice.He shall become the ugliest dead or living THING I know of and I'd want him to suffer the emotional pain some times later,not physical pain.Trust me,physical pain is nothing compared to emotional pain.That emotional pain will eat you up alive and make you suffer the most.Time can heal,but before that happens,I hope that jerk will have 'fun' feeding the emotional pain. 

So,friends,don't be a cheater please.

If you know things aren't going well,either talk it through or end it.Don't drag the relationship any further. 

Ok..So I managed to finish 3 chapters of the book when I was babysitting..

Oh yeah..Speaking of babysitting,I'm no longer an unemployed bum anymore.

Well,long story cut short:-

Beginning of this previous semester (because I finished my exams liao~Remember?),I went in for an interview for a casual support worker with Activ.At that time,they couldn't employ me because I didn't have enough experience with people with disabilities.So,instead of being a paid worker,they suggest I do some volunteering work first before re-applying for the job again.I was upset,bla bla bla and all the shit that you're suppose to go through when you got turn down.I did,of course,went with the suggestion and started doing some volunteering.Went for the disco sundowners that're held for those who're mentally disabled,in fact,I've been there 3 times,4 hours per session.And then,last week I started with my first sit for kids with mental disabilities.With the help I received from my supervisor,I was offered the position of a paid casual support worker.But,I'm still in the middle of filling in all the paper works and stuff,so not officially their employees yet.

So that basically sums up what happened there.

Oh!And plus,I don't think I'll be able to share much of my working experience since there's this confidential policy that I have to follow.I can get fired and ruin my reputation if I expose too many details,especially via blog,even though it's not like my blog is public or super popular or anything.Anyways,we'll see how it goes because I can sense that sooner or later,I'll want to share some thoughts on here.

Ok~Back to the book.

Chapter 2:He's just not that into you if he's not calling you

Ok..So this very first statement made in this chapter made me laughed:"Men know how to use the phone".

What the authors were trying to bring out is that,if a man is interested in you,they'll find a way to make connection with you,no matter what.

We live in an era bombarded with all kinds of technology,especially those used for communicating.

If you don't own a mobile phone,there's the house phone.

If you don't own a house phone,there's the public phone.

If you don't live anywhere a public phone,there's always your friend's cellphone. (haha!)

If you don't dare to talk or listen to the other's voice,there's always text messaging and emailing!

And etc etc etc...I'm pretty sure you know what I'm trying to get at this point.

I strongly agree that,if guys are interested in you,they're bound to find ways to stay in touch with you.

All my previous relationships started off with the means of communication.

First,there was the house calling period,because I didn't have a mobile phone back then.

And then,the text messaging period.

Eventually followed by the online chatting period.

Which of course,as the trend changes,it shifted to Facebook messaging/wall-writing.

All in all,for me,chapter 2 has a lot of credit given because most that was said was is was is (?) legitimate.

Taking 'busy' as an excuse for not staying connected is total BS I reckon'.

And sadly to say,I'm guilty of both coming up and accepting 'being busy' as an excuse for not calling.

It says here in this chapter,if a guy forgets to call,it means that he's just not that interested in you.

It's not true right?

But sometimes,even the most important thing can slip out of your mind,right?It doesn't necessarily means that it's not important at all,right?

Please tell me it's not just my naivity and you agree with me,too... >.< Please please please *begging hard*

I forget bout things at times as well,but it doesn't mean that that thing doesn't matter to me.It's just that,I'm no Einstein nor Thomas Edison so my brain capacity is very very limited..Heeeeeeeeee *grin*

Chapter 3:He's just not that into you if he's not dating you

This chapter is the reason why I don't friggin' agree with the whole 'only hanging out but not dating' or 'seeing someone is different from dating' thing.

To me,it's either you're in a relationship or you're nothing but just friends.

Don't freaking make any move before you are sure with what you want!

Don't freaking give me bloody misleading hints and then end up telling me that you're not ready for a relationship.

Bullshit!

If you know you're not,why would you wanna hang out with me and lead me on in the first place?

The gray area between friendship and relationship,that's always the thing that drives people nuts when it comes to dating.

Hhmmm...The way the authors put it,"It's not that they're not ready to be in a relationship,they're just not ready to be in a relationship with you."

Harsh and sad,but true.

Not much review on this chapter..Been too busy trying to express my thoughts bout the whole 'dating/seeing someone' thing~

Hhmmm...

But I guess it would be fun to be able to 'hang out' with multiple people at once.

Commitments and hassle free.Haha!!

It's call attention-seeking,not love-finding.

Chapter 4:He's just not that into you if he's not having sex with you

Boy oh boy~If you really want to take this seriously,that means there's a big portion of unmarried couples that I  know of who are in a relationship that neither one is interested in the other.

I,for one,am not the kind of person who is against pre-marital sex.

As long as you feel that the chemistry is right and that you love the person at that moment,then I don't think anyone else should make a judgement about that.

But may I just remind you once again,this is a book written by two AMERICANs,a culture that is different from ours (well..mine at least~ XD haha!).

Even though,people are more open-minded nowadays,but that doesn't mean every culture has to be the same.

Some couples do not have sex and will not force their partners into it.But that doesn't mean that they don't love them or aren't interested in them,it's just that,they respect their partners' decision in not having pre-marital sex.

It's because they are so into them,they respect their partners' decision because they don't want to push them over the edge and end up losing them.

Face it,boys think with their penis,that's the universal idea that were being taught.

That is an innate-thing and there's nothing you can do about it.

BUT!I'm not saying that all boys act upon their penis.

Thinking and acting is different.

Boys aren't the only one with sexual drive,I believe you all know that all normal human beings do.

We live to reproduce and that's already been pre-programmed onto our genes.

It's normal for boys to want to have sex with someone they are attracted to,so no judgement should be made on that and no boys should be called a pervert just because they are being themselves.

So,I think that the more appropriate title for this chapter should be "He's just not that into you if he doesn't want to have sex with you".

We all know,secretly,deep down inside of our hearts,that one would want to have sex with people they are attracted to,let it be if it's said out loud or not.But to whether or not prosecute the action and prolong that thought,it's the whole id vs superego vs ego battle.

Oooo~I don't know..I just hope that I'm making sense.

Please tell me if I'm not...

Then....I might consider getting brain surgery so I can start making sense when I talk or express myself..haha!

Man~!

I suddenly have an urge to say this,"Having that special someone to watch tv with is awesome!"

No reason..Just because I was watching "National Treasure" at work all by myself just now and thought it was boring! (not the movie..)

So,my sister gave me this book called "He's just not that into you:The no-excuses truth to understanding guys" two days ago.

The way she placed the book on my table with the smirk on her face,I knew what she was trying to send across.

"Your ex-boyfriend was just not that into you!"

Plus,for the past few months,she was telling me,occassionally,how I was just an Asian girl he happens to date and how he's not that into me and all those sorts of kind-of-negative messages.

I,seriously,do not know why.

Was it because she cares so much bout me that she doesn't want me to get hurt?

Maybe..I don't know..I have to be truthful and say that,it didn't really feel like it though...

I didn't try to explain myself much nor did I try telling her about our story and all because I just think it's unnecessary,especially if the person had already made an assumption about the situation and couldn't be bothered to listen further.

Anyways,back to the book.

Well,since I'm on holiday right now,and I just think that this book is plain cruel (will try to explain why it's cruel at the end,if I remember~),so I thought I should give it a try and write a review bout it while I progress through it.

Ok..First off,to make this book sounds more..erm..worth while (?),it was written by a writer and a consultant of "Sex and the City".

Yes..The very original "Sex and the City".

So,whoever watched the series would know that that series was is a big hit.It still is.

After 6 seasons of non-stop sex and love issues,it never fails to capture the attention of its audiences.

I've never really read the original book,but judging on the series,I think I'm making a rather safe assumption that it's a good book,everyone agree on that?

Another plus to that is Oprah Winfrey gave the book this review,"Six words to change your life for ever...This book should be on every single woman's nightstand!"

This book surely has a lot credits given.

Alrighty..Let's get started with the review.

(P.s I haven't read through the whole thing so I'm gonna do this chapter by chapter.)

Chapter 1:He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out

Well,the title itself is pretty self-explanatory.

The authors (a man and a woman,by the way) emphasized on this one point:"Guys aren't as complicated as girls.If they see something they like,they will go for it no matter what."

Up to this point,I'm still in mutual agreement with the authors.

Even the shyest guy would try to make a move and show some hints,right?At least that's what I think.I don't really have any friends I know of who is shy to the point that he wanted to keep everything to himself and not make a move at all.

But here's the thing.

This book is heavily based on what American people think about the Americans they've dated. (Yes..that was a rather risky assumption to make.)

We can't really indulge all of those without taking culture perspective into account.Nor is it rational for us to try to generalise every single male figures with the same stereotype,it's unfair.

Even though I do agree to some extend to the point made,it is still important to realise the differences between my culture believes and those of the authors'.

All in all,this book review is looking kind of crappy so far providing that I just read the first chapter,only once.Haha!My apologies.

One thing I'll try to bear in mind is that,this book will only be a pure entertainment for the time being

Though some points are worth taking into consideration,I still don't think I'd agree 100% to all the content nor would I treat it as a bible to guide me through my 'possible-future-relationship'.

Don't get me wrong,it's not that I don't respect the authors and all,I do.Just that,even though they're people who are 100 times way smarter than I am,we are still,afterall,seperate individuals with seperate patterns of living.

Well,this is kind of crap.

Hopefully that I'll have something more productive and more worth your time next time.

Til then,sorry~ =P

I'm no natural born writer materials so bear with me lar~